Is it just me or have you noticed that people just don’t RSVP anymore? The thing is that times have changed, and people just don’t do things like they once have. I mean when is the last time you actually sat down and wrote a letter, or checked out a book at the library.

Because of technology we often forget about some of those basics that once were the gold standard. RSVPing happens to be one of those things that people have gotten away from, and forgotten why it is even necessary.

So we’ve put together a few guidelines to help you out and keep you out of the dog house with your host.

First off what the heck does RSVP really mean? RSVP stands for Repondez s’il vous plait which translates from French to “Please Respond”. I know this may seem like a no brainer and you’ve probably even wondered what the big deal was if you did or did not RSVP. And then you didn’t know why people tended to get so bent out of shape if you happened to cancel or no- show to an event. Well, it’s because when it comes to planning, your host uses those hard numbers (those who have RSVP’d yes) to actually purchase the food, arrange seating, and book a venue for the event. An extra 10 guests can make a huge difference in the budget, and overall quality of the event.

So, when should one RSVP? Here’s where you want to be extremely considerate. Always respond as soon as possible and certainly no later than date requested by your host. Your host has given you a date in order for them to have time on their end to plan the best event possible.

Is it ever ok to attend an event without RSVPing? The short most considerate answer is NEVER. This is something that happens often with close friends, and family members and as host can be a bit unnerving. Always keep in mind that the host has many details, and tasks on their plate when planning, and your proper RSVP will help alleviate any unnecessary stress for your host.

Is it ok to just send a text, or email as an RSVP to the host? Probably not, you should always RSVP in the way specified by your host. Never assume that it’s ok to RSVP in the way that is most convenient for you. Remember your host has asked you to respond in a certain way for a reason. For example, many engaged couples create email addresses specifically for wedding correspondence. These email accounts are often monitored and managed by their wedding planner or coordinator, which means sending a text to your friend as an RSVP would only create extra work for him or her which is not considerate.

Is it ok to bring a plus one when you’ve only RSVP’d for 1? No, always reach out to the host for permission when bringing a guest unless the invite specifies that you and a guest are invited. In cases where you’d like to bring an additional guest, always reach out to the host or event coordinator directly, and in a timely manner, preferably before the “please respond date”, and humbly request the attendance of your guest.

You’ve missed the deadline now what? Contact the host immediately, apologize for your delayed response and ask if there is still space available for you to be included in the festivities. Keep in mind that you have now put your host in an awkward position of having to say yes or no, and remember to remain gracious no matter the out come.

Why would a host request that you RSVP with regrets? In this case the host is assuming that you will attend unless you reach out and advise them other wise.

Now that you’ve got the basics down, don’t forget to practice them, your host will be forever grateful. Be sure to download the cheat sheet to RSVPing by clicking this link.

If you have found this post helpful be sure to tell a friend or repost it and tag @brunchandslay.

“The Brain Storm”Je’na Paisley